My Personal Moment - Read with Caution

----Warning, this post contains graphic details and is about a woman's monthly check up and followup---- Read at your own risk. The purpose of this is to help other women feel comfortable and understand this is normal, according to the medical doctors. This is about my personal experience.

Thursday was a busy day and I completely forgot to post what I did, however I DID have physical therapy and later that night my knee was sore into Friday morning. I was in so much pain that in the middle of the night, I woke up and put my brace on my leg and had it on all day Friday!

Yesterday morning, Friday, I woke up, begin working and had my first and only cup of coffee for the day. A few hours later I had an important appointment to get to and it was not a fun one. I went in for my yearly pap a few weeks ago and the results came back as abnormal and indicated I have HPV (human papillomavirus). The nurse was telling me things were going to be fine and the abnormality was at its lowest, like that was supposed to make me happy. (sarcasm) She also advised even when a woman has a normal pap, the lab tests for two strains of HPV anyhow. Tears were running down my face and my voice became tearful sounding while speaking to her on the phone, because I have never had an abnormal pap before and what the hell is HPV? I have heard of it before, but never really quite knew what it was. Is it an STD, in the way we know of STD's? I sure hope not!! Since mine came back as being abnormal, there was no need to test for it. It was abnormal and I was thinking of my family history and my lifestyle to find out what is playing a role in it being abnormal. I cried even more. My disposition is not happy as I am concerned for my health, my husband and our future. The nurse told me not to go online and look up HPV for the fear and mongering that is online, but to ask the doctor any questions I had and I did, with the exception for one that my husband mentioned to me, after the office visit.

When I went into the office I was so very nervous. I was told they were going to look at my cervix with a microscope to make sure everything is fine, use vinegar to help see the cells better and take a biopsy. So while I was in for a followup yesterday I was asking the doctor questions. What is HPV? How does one get HPV? Is there a cure? How can I not get it again? Is this something to do with my family history? While I had the sheet draped over me, I wouldn't lay down until I had answers. She informed me that 80% of women 28 and under have HPV, if they are sexually active, but this is not a sexually transmitted disease in the way we think of them. Then what is it? She said, HPV has to do with diet, exercise, environment they live in and immune system. She asked, do you smoke? No, I do not smoke, I replied. Good. She had informed me HPV is a precancerous and if not treated can be the onset of cancer. She said, if I get back to living healthy, when I go in the office next year for a pap, the results can come back normal, with no abnormalities. She said it has nothing to do with my family history and the likely hood of HPV turning into cancer is very minimal. I laid down on the bed in the office and she did what she had to do to see what was happening. The sound of the metal tightening in that region made me very uncomfortable. Women hear that sound at least once a year and it is no fun. She had to change it out because the one that was being used pinched me where my thigh and butt meet. So again, I had to hear the horrible sounding metal and told her "That metal makes this even more uncomfortable, to bad it isn't linen and cotton instead." She replied, "If I could do something like that, I would be a rich woman." We laughed. During the procedure she spoke to me and walked me through everything she was doing. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. She took not one, but two biopsies and the first one I didn't feel, but the second one I felt a small pinch, which she told me most women feel the second pinch. That was that, we were done. She informed me the biopsies will be tested to see if they are 1, 2, or 3 of the precancerous cells. HPV is precancerous and if not treated or taken care of can have the potential to lead to cancer, even though it is minimal. So if you or anyone you know (men included - although they are not tested yet, but should be) has HPV or haven't had a checkup in a while make sure they get taken care of to prevent the minimal becoming possible. We ALL have cancer cells, but what happens is our diet, exercise and environment determine if they will grow in us. Don't wait or put it off another moment, get checked now! Now I wait 7-14 days for the results.

After the procedure, I went home, got back to work, didn't care to much about what I ate and I didn't do my physical therapy homework. Although, even after something like this I should care more than I did. Hindsight is 20/20.

After work I made some noodles, that are like ramen, but healthier and they were ok. Then I picked my husband up from work and we went to PF Changs. You can find our experience here: healthfoodie.yelp.com. 

Well, I am going to log off for now, it is a day of rest and that is what we are going to do, besides cleaning our home. I will keep you posted of today's progress and so far as normal, I began this morning with a cup of coffee. 

~~Relationships Are Precious~~

This morning I rolled out of bed and began working from home. There is nothing so awesome in the world like rolling out of bed and working from home in your pajamas! Hey! Don't judge me, not yet at least. I have been having issues with my knee since beginning physical therapy and although my knee is getting better, there is still pain especially on these rainy day. So as I was saying, I worked for an hour or so and then drove my husband to work. The drive was interesting. We were speaking of being married and laughing at stupid drivers! Does anyone know how to drive anymore? It seems as though the drivers training courses are not paying attention during road tests or they just hand the licenses out like candy to children in a candy store!

After I dropped my husband off, I went back home and got back to work. Also, I was going on my second cup of coffee! It was not quite lunch time yet but I did miss breakfast so I made it up with a banana, 3 stuffed grape leaves and 6 cooked mushrooms. Then about an hour after when I normally take my lunch, I finally got away from my desk and ate. I began working on a project and then pulled onto something more important. For this reason, I lost track of time again today. For lunch I had another Dole Package Salad with almonds and sesame dressing (YUM) and a cheese stick!

It was time to get back to work and as I was speaking with a friend whom I have grown close to, she advised me that she is leaving! My eyes were full of water and tears were streaming down my cheeks while I was speaking with her on the phone. My breaths were deep sighs of sadness. I really HATE when things change, especially when I meet such wonderful people and they move on with their life, but I know I have done the same as well. However, I do try my darndest to keep in touch with my friends! Do I collect friends? Does anyone collect friends? How do or why would anyone "collect" friends? It sounds strange to me, but this thought did run across my mind today. When I got off the phone with her, I wiped away the tears from my cheeks that I had shed, got back on my computer and continued working.

It was time for me to get my husband from his work! But before I left, I made a nutrient dense shake with 1 banana, chocolate vegan, 8 oz almond milk, 8 ice cubes and almonds!!! YUMMM!!! and I had finished some last minute work before I left home. Still I was sad because of the great news from my friend. She gets to grow in her skill and career and for that, I am very happy for her and even more blessed to have met her and to be her friend. I only pray that my friend and I still remain in contact and go out and do many activities in the area!

While in the car, bringing my husband home we were discussing what to have for dinner. He asked me earlier and I took a picture of a picture in a recipe book and sent it to him via text. For some reason, he thought it was a frozen dinner and who wouldn't have thought that? But we were deciding what to have and well it turned into a little spat, nothing to difficult for us to get through. I raised my tone to show how frustrated I was because he was speaking like a man and not understanding my woman talk...lol. Fish or beef was on the table and since we had our spat, we went out instead. I am thankful that he came to me and took time to talk it out with me, instead of brushing it off like it was nothing, because to me it was a big deal. He took us to Outback! I hadn't there in years and the bloomin' onion isn't what it used to be, but my steak was so tender and juicy, the flavor was dancing on my tongue. As I took a few bites of macaroni, I let out a sound of satisfaction and another when I took the first bite of my steak! I am so very happy I piped up and told the waitress that I hadn't been there in a while, because she took her time to explain the new menu to us and how the steaks were cooked. She also asked me what I like in a steak and introduced me to the Victorian Fillet Mignon. I also ordered a sweet potato with honey butter and brown sugar! I did eat all of the potato, 4 of 6 oz of the fillet and a few bites of the mac n cheese. I had 1.5 glasses of lemon water. My husband also ordered steak with mac n cheese, but what surprised me the most was that he ordered and was enjoying the asparagus! I wanted to tell him that we should call his mom to let her know that he does love vegetables, but decided against speaking up. Sometimes it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself.

After dinner, we went to the Marshalls, I needed to walk around although my knee was not in agreement with me. When I was in a clearance section he walked around the store 2 times looking for me....lol, oops. When we got home we relaxed while playing on our technical gadgets while my husband put a load of laundry in the wash/dryer and I had an apple.

We folded and put the clothes away and now I am writing.

I didn't do any exercise today, not even physical therapy exercises. (hides head in shame) yes, yes, yes, how am I supposed to get better if I don't do my exercises you ask? I won't, so tomorrow is therapy and I will make sure to put forth my best effort from here on out.

It is not bed time and I am going to get my rest, wake up at 7am tomorrow and begin again! Hopefully I won't cry so much when speaking with my friend, I wasn't sobbing, it was under control. I will miss working with her. If you are lucky or even blessed enough, maybe one day you will meet her.