Yesterday was my husbands birthday and we didn't have cake, we did have ice cream, but as an after dinner treat. He is waiting for the rubix cube that he asked me for, but until it arrives in the mail he is going to have to continue waiting. Yesterday was a very busy day for me. I had to take my lunch break to find a different gift and a birthday card for him. After my physical therapy I picked him up from the metro station and took him out to dinner. We wanted some place different and ended up in Old Town Fair Fax. We found a restaurant called The Old Fire Station that had Greek food. I had thought it was going to be an American food place, but it surprised me and the food was superb. I had ordered the chicken gyro with a small Greek salad. Also, I ordered a coke! I hadn't had one in a very long time, but still don't care for it.
After dinner, I drove to Best Buy where we looked around the store and played with gadgets and what not before we left. It is kinda difficult finding something to do in the middle of a week for a birthday! When we got home, I was so tired and went to bed.
During physical therapy they are having me do new exercises to strengthen my muscles and my knee.
------------------------
Today I worked and did laundry during my break and lunch. Then went to physical therapy. Didn't eat much, had 1 spicy chicken sandwich, a few handfuls of m&ms, mastacholli, 1 string cheese, 1 thing of nachos with cheese and chili from 7-11 and a small bag of doritos....I feel sick to my stomach! I did have one cup of coffee this morning and have been drinking water throughout the day, so that is good.
When you eat something and you feel like crap, even 3 hrs after eating it, don't EVER eat it again!
It is late at night and this morning I was 240 and now I am 243, could be water weight, but I feel heavy and gross. Tomorrow will be veggies and water ONLY!
Friday, April 17, 2015
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Absolutely Freakin' Positive!
Although it has been several days since I last posted, life is still very exciting! Who can say they lived in D.C. when a gyro-copter landed on the lawn of the Capital Building? Or that a pedestrian bridge collapsed on the green line of the metro because construction equipment hit it? Or how about a drone crashing on the lawn of the White House, because a secret service agent had a few too much to drink? Man being shot in the metro tunnels? A man killing himself in front of the capital the day after the Cherry Blossom Festival? A man jumping the fence surrounding the white house and making it across the first floor into the south garden? How about the metro tunnel filling up with smoke and a woman dying due to smoke inhalation because they didn't have proper air vents? I can say ALL of these things and if that isn't enough, the first two that I mentioned happened today! Everyday and NIGHT I hear the blaring of sirens, police cars, ambulances and firetrucks (mostly because a firehouse is down the street from where we live). Oop there goes one right now!
Anyhow, no longer putting it off. The reason I didn't post lately is because my life has been VERY busy! First and foremost I am a woman, I am a wife and I am a full time worker. Because I have these roles and others, as we all do, I have to balance each of them to the best of my ability without putting myself on the back burner and not taking care of me. You may think that is selfish, but if you don't take care of yourself, mentally, physically, and any other 'ally' you can think of, it is possible to go mentally.
As far as the woman part goes, honestly, it sucks! Don't get me wrong. There are days where I feel girly and want to do my hair and nails, but when it comes to waxing...FORRRGEEETTTT IT! So, then we shave. Shaving the skin (especially in the lower region) causes micro abrasions. These abrasions have to heal so blood is rushed to the area and now we have PIMPLES and uncomfortable ingrown hairs, which can lead to infection....UUGGGHHHH!!!! Do we EVER get a break? Our bodies are made to bear and have children and to go through so much! Women have to endure so much pain and discomfort, just because we are women! So, as most women know, YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR YEARLY CHECKUP! I have said it already and I said it again! If you haven't gotten your check up, GO GET IT NOW! My blog will be here when you get back, but taking care of you and your body is the most unshelfish thing you can do and here is why. When you go to the doctor and get your pap and it comes back normal, that is great news! But, that does not mean don't go the next year because things happen to our bodies that can be unpredictable and it is better for you to know what is happening sooner rather than later.
Who is the selfish individual here? I will give you two scenarios and you decide who is shelfish.
A woman who is a wife and mother gets her yearly exam and physical. The doctor comes back to her and tells her that she has nothing to worry about, everything is fine.
A woman who is a wife and mother neglects her yearly exam and physical. Several years after her last exam she becomes sick and can no longer take care of her family because she is dead.
These two scenarios are the best and worst, I agree. There can also be instances where a woman does not get her exam and think for years that she is fine until later in life when it comes back full circle.
Yes circumstances such as insurance and other factors can play a role, however do everything you possibly can to get your exam!
So as most of you know, I went for my exam and then a biopsy. The news for the biopsy came back yesterday and I was rushing out the door to get to physical therapy, but took time to speak with the nurse. The results for the biopsy came back as being positive for precancerous cells in my cervix. My husband and I will meet with the doctor next week to see what we can do and if there are any alternatives. From what I am aware of at the moment, the doctor wants to take out the top layer of tissue in my cervix to remove the cells. From here, I will have a few days off work to recover and then I should be back in tip-top shape!
Cancer and precancer are no joke and no laughing matter. I will keep you posted.
As far as today goes, I had two cups of coffee (acidic) now I need to go alkaline and stop the coffee.
1 bottle of water
1 sm package of trail mix (raisins, nuts, yogurt chips)
1 garlic bread
6 grape leaves with rice
1 mozzarella stick
1 cube of chocolate
2 cups of popchips
and some mostacalli
I did more walking around today for work, than I have in a while and you know what? I really enjoyed the movement!
Overall, today has been a wonderful, yet busy day. 6am will be here soon enough and it is now 9:33pm, sweet dreams and take care of you, so you can be here with your family and friends and not taken too soon.
Anyhow, no longer putting it off. The reason I didn't post lately is because my life has been VERY busy! First and foremost I am a woman, I am a wife and I am a full time worker. Because I have these roles and others, as we all do, I have to balance each of them to the best of my ability without putting myself on the back burner and not taking care of me. You may think that is selfish, but if you don't take care of yourself, mentally, physically, and any other 'ally' you can think of, it is possible to go mentally.
As far as the woman part goes, honestly, it sucks! Don't get me wrong. There are days where I feel girly and want to do my hair and nails, but when it comes to waxing...FORRRGEEETTTT IT! So, then we shave. Shaving the skin (especially in the lower region) causes micro abrasions. These abrasions have to heal so blood is rushed to the area and now we have PIMPLES and uncomfortable ingrown hairs, which can lead to infection....UUGGGHHHH!!!! Do we EVER get a break? Our bodies are made to bear and have children and to go through so much! Women have to endure so much pain and discomfort, just because we are women! So, as most women know, YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR YEARLY CHECKUP! I have said it already and I said it again! If you haven't gotten your check up, GO GET IT NOW! My blog will be here when you get back, but taking care of you and your body is the most unshelfish thing you can do and here is why. When you go to the doctor and get your pap and it comes back normal, that is great news! But, that does not mean don't go the next year because things happen to our bodies that can be unpredictable and it is better for you to know what is happening sooner rather than later.
Who is the selfish individual here? I will give you two scenarios and you decide who is shelfish.
A woman who is a wife and mother gets her yearly exam and physical. The doctor comes back to her and tells her that she has nothing to worry about, everything is fine.
A woman who is a wife and mother neglects her yearly exam and physical. Several years after her last exam she becomes sick and can no longer take care of her family because she is dead.
These two scenarios are the best and worst, I agree. There can also be instances where a woman does not get her exam and think for years that she is fine until later in life when it comes back full circle.
Yes circumstances such as insurance and other factors can play a role, however do everything you possibly can to get your exam!
So as most of you know, I went for my exam and then a biopsy. The news for the biopsy came back yesterday and I was rushing out the door to get to physical therapy, but took time to speak with the nurse. The results for the biopsy came back as being positive for precancerous cells in my cervix. My husband and I will meet with the doctor next week to see what we can do and if there are any alternatives. From what I am aware of at the moment, the doctor wants to take out the top layer of tissue in my cervix to remove the cells. From here, I will have a few days off work to recover and then I should be back in tip-top shape!
Cancer and precancer are no joke and no laughing matter. I will keep you posted.
As far as today goes, I had two cups of coffee (acidic) now I need to go alkaline and stop the coffee.
1 bottle of water
1 sm package of trail mix (raisins, nuts, yogurt chips)
1 garlic bread
6 grape leaves with rice
1 mozzarella stick
1 cube of chocolate
2 cups of popchips
and some mostacalli
I did more walking around today for work, than I have in a while and you know what? I really enjoyed the movement!
Overall, today has been a wonderful, yet busy day. 6am will be here soon enough and it is now 9:33pm, sweet dreams and take care of you, so you can be here with your family and friends and not taken too soon.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
My Personal Moment - Read with Caution
----Warning, this post contains graphic details and is about a woman's monthly check up and followup---- Read at your own risk. The purpose of this is to help other women feel comfortable and understand this is normal, according to the medical doctors. This is about my personal experience.
Thursday was a busy day and I completely forgot to post what I did, however I DID have physical therapy and later that night my knee was sore into Friday morning. I was in so much pain that in the middle of the night, I woke up and put my brace on my leg and had it on all day Friday!
Yesterday morning, Friday, I woke up, begin working and had my first and only cup of coffee for the day. A few hours later I had an important appointment to get to and it was not a fun one. I went in for my yearly pap a few weeks ago and the results came back as abnormal and indicated I have HPV (human papillomavirus). The nurse was telling me things were going to be fine and the abnormality was at its lowest, like that was supposed to make me happy. (sarcasm) She also advised even when a woman has a normal pap, the lab tests for two strains of HPV anyhow. Tears were running down my face and my voice became tearful sounding while speaking to her on the phone, because I have never had an abnormal pap before and what the hell is HPV? I have heard of it before, but never really quite knew what it was. Is it an STD, in the way we know of STD's? I sure hope not!! Since mine came back as being abnormal, there was no need to test for it. It was abnormal and I was thinking of my family history and my lifestyle to find out what is playing a role in it being abnormal. I cried even more. My disposition is not happy as I am concerned for my health, my husband and our future. The nurse told me not to go online and look up HPV for the fear and mongering that is online, but to ask the doctor any questions I had and I did, with the exception for one that my husband mentioned to me, after the office visit.
When I went into the office I was so very nervous. I was told they were going to look at my cervix with a microscope to make sure everything is fine, use vinegar to help see the cells better and take a biopsy. So while I was in for a followup yesterday I was asking the doctor questions. What is HPV? How does one get HPV? Is there a cure? How can I not get it again? Is this something to do with my family history? While I had the sheet draped over me, I wouldn't lay down until I had answers. She informed me that 80% of women 28 and under have HPV, if they are sexually active, but this is not a sexually transmitted disease in the way we think of them. Then what is it? She said, HPV has to do with diet, exercise, environment they live in and immune system. She asked, do you smoke? No, I do not smoke, I replied. Good. She had informed me HPV is a precancerous and if not treated can be the onset of cancer. She said, if I get back to living healthy, when I go in the office next year for a pap, the results can come back normal, with no abnormalities. She said it has nothing to do with my family history and the likely hood of HPV turning into cancer is very minimal. I laid down on the bed in the office and she did what she had to do to see what was happening. The sound of the metal tightening in that region made me very uncomfortable. Women hear that sound at least once a year and it is no fun. She had to change it out because the one that was being used pinched me where my thigh and butt meet. So again, I had to hear the horrible sounding metal and told her "That metal makes this even more uncomfortable, to bad it isn't linen and cotton instead." She replied, "If I could do something like that, I would be a rich woman." We laughed. During the procedure she spoke to me and walked me through everything she was doing. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. She took not one, but two biopsies and the first one I didn't feel, but the second one I felt a small pinch, which she told me most women feel the second pinch. That was that, we were done. She informed me the biopsies will be tested to see if they are 1, 2, or 3 of the precancerous cells. HPV is precancerous and if not treated or taken care of can have the potential to lead to cancer, even though it is minimal. So if you or anyone you know (men included - although they are not tested yet, but should be) has HPV or haven't had a checkup in a while make sure they get taken care of to prevent the minimal becoming possible. We ALL have cancer cells, but what happens is our diet, exercise and environment determine if they will grow in us. Don't wait or put it off another moment, get checked now! Now I wait 7-14 days for the results.
After the procedure, I went home, got back to work, didn't care to much about what I ate and I didn't do my physical therapy homework. Although, even after something like this I should care more than I did. Hindsight is 20/20.
After work I made some noodles, that are like ramen, but healthier and they were ok. Then I picked my husband up from work and we went to PF Changs. You can find our experience here: healthfoodie.yelp.com.
Well, I am going to log off for now, it is a day of rest and that is what we are going to do, besides cleaning our home. I will keep you posted of today's progress and so far as normal, I began this morning with a cup of coffee.
Thursday was a busy day and I completely forgot to post what I did, however I DID have physical therapy and later that night my knee was sore into Friday morning. I was in so much pain that in the middle of the night, I woke up and put my brace on my leg and had it on all day Friday!
Yesterday morning, Friday, I woke up, begin working and had my first and only cup of coffee for the day. A few hours later I had an important appointment to get to and it was not a fun one. I went in for my yearly pap a few weeks ago and the results came back as abnormal and indicated I have HPV (human papillomavirus). The nurse was telling me things were going to be fine and the abnormality was at its lowest, like that was supposed to make me happy. (sarcasm) She also advised even when a woman has a normal pap, the lab tests for two strains of HPV anyhow. Tears were running down my face and my voice became tearful sounding while speaking to her on the phone, because I have never had an abnormal pap before and what the hell is HPV? I have heard of it before, but never really quite knew what it was. Is it an STD, in the way we know of STD's? I sure hope not!! Since mine came back as being abnormal, there was no need to test for it. It was abnormal and I was thinking of my family history and my lifestyle to find out what is playing a role in it being abnormal. I cried even more. My disposition is not happy as I am concerned for my health, my husband and our future. The nurse told me not to go online and look up HPV for the fear and mongering that is online, but to ask the doctor any questions I had and I did, with the exception for one that my husband mentioned to me, after the office visit.
When I went into the office I was so very nervous. I was told they were going to look at my cervix with a microscope to make sure everything is fine, use vinegar to help see the cells better and take a biopsy. So while I was in for a followup yesterday I was asking the doctor questions. What is HPV? How does one get HPV? Is there a cure? How can I not get it again? Is this something to do with my family history? While I had the sheet draped over me, I wouldn't lay down until I had answers. She informed me that 80% of women 28 and under have HPV, if they are sexually active, but this is not a sexually transmitted disease in the way we think of them. Then what is it? She said, HPV has to do with diet, exercise, environment they live in and immune system. She asked, do you smoke? No, I do not smoke, I replied. Good. She had informed me HPV is a precancerous and if not treated can be the onset of cancer. She said, if I get back to living healthy, when I go in the office next year for a pap, the results can come back normal, with no abnormalities. She said it has nothing to do with my family history and the likely hood of HPV turning into cancer is very minimal. I laid down on the bed in the office and she did what she had to do to see what was happening. The sound of the metal tightening in that region made me very uncomfortable. Women hear that sound at least once a year and it is no fun. She had to change it out because the one that was being used pinched me where my thigh and butt meet. So again, I had to hear the horrible sounding metal and told her "That metal makes this even more uncomfortable, to bad it isn't linen and cotton instead." She replied, "If I could do something like that, I would be a rich woman." We laughed. During the procedure she spoke to me and walked me through everything she was doing. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. She took not one, but two biopsies and the first one I didn't feel, but the second one I felt a small pinch, which she told me most women feel the second pinch. That was that, we were done. She informed me the biopsies will be tested to see if they are 1, 2, or 3 of the precancerous cells. HPV is precancerous and if not treated or taken care of can have the potential to lead to cancer, even though it is minimal. So if you or anyone you know (men included - although they are not tested yet, but should be) has HPV or haven't had a checkup in a while make sure they get taken care of to prevent the minimal becoming possible. We ALL have cancer cells, but what happens is our diet, exercise and environment determine if they will grow in us. Don't wait or put it off another moment, get checked now! Now I wait 7-14 days for the results.
After the procedure, I went home, got back to work, didn't care to much about what I ate and I didn't do my physical therapy homework. Although, even after something like this I should care more than I did. Hindsight is 20/20.
After work I made some noodles, that are like ramen, but healthier and they were ok. Then I picked my husband up from work and we went to PF Changs. You can find our experience here: healthfoodie.yelp.com.
Well, I am going to log off for now, it is a day of rest and that is what we are going to do, besides cleaning our home. I will keep you posted of today's progress and so far as normal, I began this morning with a cup of coffee.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
~~Relationships Are Precious~~
This morning I rolled out of bed and began working from home. There is nothing so awesome in the world like rolling out of bed and working from home in your pajamas! Hey! Don't judge me, not yet at least. I have been having issues with my knee since beginning physical therapy and although my knee is getting better, there is still pain especially on these rainy day. So as I was saying, I worked for an hour or so and then drove my husband to work. The drive was interesting. We were speaking of being married and laughing at stupid drivers! Does anyone know how to drive anymore? It seems as though the drivers training courses are not paying attention during road tests or they just hand the licenses out like candy to children in a candy store!
After I dropped my husband off, I went back home and got back to work. Also, I was going on my second cup of coffee! It was not quite lunch time yet but I did miss breakfast so I made it up with a banana, 3 stuffed grape leaves and 6 cooked mushrooms. Then about an hour after when I normally take my lunch, I finally got away from my desk and ate. I began working on a project and then pulled onto something more important. For this reason, I lost track of time again today. For lunch I had another Dole Package Salad with almonds and sesame dressing (YUM) and a cheese stick!
It was time to get back to work and as I was speaking with a friend whom I have grown close to, she advised me that she is leaving! My eyes were full of water and tears were streaming down my cheeks while I was speaking with her on the phone. My breaths were deep sighs of sadness. I really HATE when things change, especially when I meet such wonderful people and they move on with their life, but I know I have done the same as well. However, I do try my darndest to keep in touch with my friends! Do I collect friends? Does anyone collect friends? How do or why would anyone "collect" friends? It sounds strange to me, but this thought did run across my mind today. When I got off the phone with her, I wiped away the tears from my cheeks that I had shed, got back on my computer and continued working.
It was time for me to get my husband from his work! But before I left, I made a nutrient dense shake with 1 banana, chocolate vegan, 8 oz almond milk, 8 ice cubes and almonds!!! YUMMM!!! and I had finished some last minute work before I left home. Still I was sad because of the great news from my friend. She gets to grow in her skill and career and for that, I am very happy for her and even more blessed to have met her and to be her friend. I only pray that my friend and I still remain in contact and go out and do many activities in the area!
While in the car, bringing my husband home we were discussing what to have for dinner. He asked me earlier and I took a picture of a picture in a recipe book and sent it to him via text. For some reason, he thought it was a frozen dinner and who wouldn't have thought that? But we were deciding what to have and well it turned into a little spat, nothing to difficult for us to get through. I raised my tone to show how frustrated I was because he was speaking like a man and not understanding my woman talk...lol. Fish or beef was on the table and since we had our spat, we went out instead. I am thankful that he came to me and took time to talk it out with me, instead of brushing it off like it was nothing, because to me it was a big deal. He took us to Outback! I hadn't there in years and the bloomin' onion isn't what it used to be, but my steak was so tender and juicy, the flavor was dancing on my tongue. As I took a few bites of macaroni, I let out a sound of satisfaction and another when I took the first bite of my steak! I am so very happy I piped up and told the waitress that I hadn't been there in a while, because she took her time to explain the new menu to us and how the steaks were cooked. She also asked me what I like in a steak and introduced me to the Victorian Fillet Mignon. I also ordered a sweet potato with honey butter and brown sugar! I did eat all of the potato, 4 of 6 oz of the fillet and a few bites of the mac n cheese. I had 1.5 glasses of lemon water. My husband also ordered steak with mac n cheese, but what surprised me the most was that he ordered and was enjoying the asparagus! I wanted to tell him that we should call his mom to let her know that he does love vegetables, but decided against speaking up. Sometimes it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself.
After dinner, we went to the Marshalls, I needed to walk around although my knee was not in agreement with me. When I was in a clearance section he walked around the store 2 times looking for me....lol, oops. When we got home we relaxed while playing on our technical gadgets while my husband put a load of laundry in the wash/dryer and I had an apple.
We folded and put the clothes away and now I am writing.
I didn't do any exercise today, not even physical therapy exercises. (hides head in shame) yes, yes, yes, how am I supposed to get better if I don't do my exercises you ask? I won't, so tomorrow is therapy and I will make sure to put forth my best effort from here on out.
It is not bed time and I am going to get my rest, wake up at 7am tomorrow and begin again! Hopefully I won't cry so much when speaking with my friend, I wasn't sobbing, it was under control. I will miss working with her. If you are lucky or even blessed enough, maybe one day you will meet her.
After I dropped my husband off, I went back home and got back to work. Also, I was going on my second cup of coffee! It was not quite lunch time yet but I did miss breakfast so I made it up with a banana, 3 stuffed grape leaves and 6 cooked mushrooms. Then about an hour after when I normally take my lunch, I finally got away from my desk and ate. I began working on a project and then pulled onto something more important. For this reason, I lost track of time again today. For lunch I had another Dole Package Salad with almonds and sesame dressing (YUM) and a cheese stick!
It was time to get back to work and as I was speaking with a friend whom I have grown close to, she advised me that she is leaving! My eyes were full of water and tears were streaming down my cheeks while I was speaking with her on the phone. My breaths were deep sighs of sadness. I really HATE when things change, especially when I meet such wonderful people and they move on with their life, but I know I have done the same as well. However, I do try my darndest to keep in touch with my friends! Do I collect friends? Does anyone collect friends? How do or why would anyone "collect" friends? It sounds strange to me, but this thought did run across my mind today. When I got off the phone with her, I wiped away the tears from my cheeks that I had shed, got back on my computer and continued working.
It was time for me to get my husband from his work! But before I left, I made a nutrient dense shake with 1 banana, chocolate vegan, 8 oz almond milk, 8 ice cubes and almonds!!! YUMMM!!! and I had finished some last minute work before I left home. Still I was sad because of the great news from my friend. She gets to grow in her skill and career and for that, I am very happy for her and even more blessed to have met her and to be her friend. I only pray that my friend and I still remain in contact and go out and do many activities in the area!
While in the car, bringing my husband home we were discussing what to have for dinner. He asked me earlier and I took a picture of a picture in a recipe book and sent it to him via text. For some reason, he thought it was a frozen dinner and who wouldn't have thought that? But we were deciding what to have and well it turned into a little spat, nothing to difficult for us to get through. I raised my tone to show how frustrated I was because he was speaking like a man and not understanding my woman talk...lol. Fish or beef was on the table and since we had our spat, we went out instead. I am thankful that he came to me and took time to talk it out with me, instead of brushing it off like it was nothing, because to me it was a big deal. He took us to Outback! I hadn't there in years and the bloomin' onion isn't what it used to be, but my steak was so tender and juicy, the flavor was dancing on my tongue. As I took a few bites of macaroni, I let out a sound of satisfaction and another when I took the first bite of my steak! I am so very happy I piped up and told the waitress that I hadn't been there in a while, because she took her time to explain the new menu to us and how the steaks were cooked. She also asked me what I like in a steak and introduced me to the Victorian Fillet Mignon. I also ordered a sweet potato with honey butter and brown sugar! I did eat all of the potato, 4 of 6 oz of the fillet and a few bites of the mac n cheese. I had 1.5 glasses of lemon water. My husband also ordered steak with mac n cheese, but what surprised me the most was that he ordered and was enjoying the asparagus! I wanted to tell him that we should call his mom to let her know that he does love vegetables, but decided against speaking up. Sometimes it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself.
After dinner, we went to the Marshalls, I needed to walk around although my knee was not in agreement with me. When I was in a clearance section he walked around the store 2 times looking for me....lol, oops. When we got home we relaxed while playing on our technical gadgets while my husband put a load of laundry in the wash/dryer and I had an apple.
We folded and put the clothes away and now I am writing.
I didn't do any exercise today, not even physical therapy exercises. (hides head in shame) yes, yes, yes, how am I supposed to get better if I don't do my exercises you ask? I won't, so tomorrow is therapy and I will make sure to put forth my best effort from here on out.
It is not bed time and I am going to get my rest, wake up at 7am tomorrow and begin again! Hopefully I won't cry so much when speaking with my friend, I wasn't sobbing, it was under control. I will miss working with her. If you are lucky or even blessed enough, maybe one day you will meet her.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
A Rockin' Kinda Day
This morning I wanted to get out of bed and go to work, but my knee was bothering me, so I stayed in my pajamas and worked from my desk. It was a busy, but great day! The day went rather quick that I kept losing track of time, several times! But there are no complaints here. Below, as promises is what I ate today. Every single thing that passed through my lips.
This morning I had:
For a snack:
For Lunch:
Snack
and finally Dinner:
How was your day!
OH! and I am down to 240!
This morning I had:
- A cup of coffee with whip topping, I prefer this to adding heaps of sugar in my cup.
- 2 glasses of water with lemon
For a snack:
- I cut 3 mini cucumbers in slices and ate them with garlic hummus.
For Lunch:
- I had a HUGE bowl of Kale salad that you get from Dole with the onion dressing. But threw the bacon packet in the garbage since I don't eat pork. However, I replaced it with 4 turkey sausage patties.
Snack
- I found myself eating 2 tootsie pop suckers (mindlessly working and it was near)
- 1 banana
- 1 string cheese
- 1 grape leave with the rice
- Another glass of water
and finally Dinner:
- For dinner I had Salmon! I didn't take a picture of it because it was too good to just let sit on my plate, so it is happily being digested as I write this post. Perhaps I should drink more water before going to bed.
How was your day!
OH! and I am down to 240!
Monday, April 6, 2015
My Generation...
As a young girl never really cared to much for my weight, it wasn't something a normal 7 year old thought about. I was chubby as a baby, according to my mom and of course baby pictures I have seen of myself, I was a BIG baby, but who is to blame? Am I to blame for being BIG when I was born? I thought I was normal 7lbs and .5oz 21 inches long. It was in 1979 that I was born to my parents. I was the first child of 3 and boy was I alone for those first 11 years of my childhood and even though I really wanted siblings, I got used to be the only one. Anyhow, I am thankful for both of my siblings, I couldn't and wouldn't want to imagine my life without them.
Like I was saying, I never thought of my weight as a child. Thinking of ones weight as a child was never thought of until now. At 8 years old I had family members tell me that I was going to grow up and be as big as my grandmother and that hurt me. For two reasons it hurt me. Reason #1: I loved this grandmother with all my heart! She taught me how to make cakes, took me to church, said the salvation prayer with me and then had me baptized at her church. Reason #2: I knew my grandmother was not a small woman and I swore to myself that I would NEVER in my life allow myself to get out of control, but keep in mind these thoughts and ideas were pushed on to me as a young child. All I knew was being overweight, obese, whatever you want to call it was negative and thus gave me a negative self image and has really eaten away at my own confidence and self esteem.
I truly do have the most amazing husband in the world. He loves me for who I am and what I look like. He asks me not to wear makeup because it covers my beauty. Why can't I see the beauty in me that he sees? I remember laying in bed as a teenager and in my twenties and even now in my thirties, crying asking God to somehow help me lose this weight that I have gained and help me feel beautiful. Not because I am exactly like my grandmother as I was told as a child, that I would let myself get as Big as her, but because of other factors and life stresses that I can share with you later.
There have been times in my life where I would look at myself in the mirror and cry, I did inside myself today while I was at physical therapy. I don't like my butt, my husband on the other hand, LOVES it! In my twenties, I taught myself to use a mirror and look at myself in the eyes. I would say things like, "You are beautiful", "You are the apples of Gods eye and he made you just as you are", "There is no one else in the world like you" "You are made in Gods image and if he is handsome, so are you". It wasn't easy at first I would break down in to tears and it would take me a very long time to convince myself that I was telling myself the truth.
What the industry has done to so many of us has made us feel like, if we are not thin, skinny and nearly anorexic looking, then we are doing something wrong. I just want to get back to a size 12 or even a 10! Can you believe when I was a size 12 standing at 5'8" an ex boyfriend, whom I was dating at the time, told me that I was chubby and needed to lose weight? He was a doctor and of course they know what they are talking about after all, right? I wish I could see him today and give him a HARD SMACK in the face and a piece of my mind, but that is the humanity of me. At this point all I can do is forgive him for acting like a jerk and saying those hurtful words, move on and grown from it.
Today I am 5'8"......and wear 18w...sighs.
My generation wasn't taught how to eat properly to live, but live to eat and enjoy everything! One of EACH! We were taught, if you don't get it or eat it now, it won't be there when you want it. We were not taught delayed gratification and we grew up with the microwaves and fast food industry on the rise. So fast food is what was for dinner as well as frozen and boxed foods full of preservatives and all sorts of junk!
Currently I weigh 242 pounds and my goal is to get to 140 by my next birthday...I will be 37 so here the count down begins. I am counting on you to hold me accountable!!
I am not allowed to lie if I did or didn't workout, includes physical therapy and EVERYTHING I ate and drank, it all adds up. We do have some freezer meals left over, so if it is something like that, I will take a picture of it and the ingredients so you can see what is in it. May this be a healthy journey for us all and that we get to learn some amazing health and fitness tips along the way to help make this journey easy for us all!
Like I was saying, I never thought of my weight as a child. Thinking of ones weight as a child was never thought of until now. At 8 years old I had family members tell me that I was going to grow up and be as big as my grandmother and that hurt me. For two reasons it hurt me. Reason #1: I loved this grandmother with all my heart! She taught me how to make cakes, took me to church, said the salvation prayer with me and then had me baptized at her church. Reason #2: I knew my grandmother was not a small woman and I swore to myself that I would NEVER in my life allow myself to get out of control, but keep in mind these thoughts and ideas were pushed on to me as a young child. All I knew was being overweight, obese, whatever you want to call it was negative and thus gave me a negative self image and has really eaten away at my own confidence and self esteem.
I truly do have the most amazing husband in the world. He loves me for who I am and what I look like. He asks me not to wear makeup because it covers my beauty. Why can't I see the beauty in me that he sees? I remember laying in bed as a teenager and in my twenties and even now in my thirties, crying asking God to somehow help me lose this weight that I have gained and help me feel beautiful. Not because I am exactly like my grandmother as I was told as a child, that I would let myself get as Big as her, but because of other factors and life stresses that I can share with you later.
There have been times in my life where I would look at myself in the mirror and cry, I did inside myself today while I was at physical therapy. I don't like my butt, my husband on the other hand, LOVES it! In my twenties, I taught myself to use a mirror and look at myself in the eyes. I would say things like, "You are beautiful", "You are the apples of Gods eye and he made you just as you are", "There is no one else in the world like you" "You are made in Gods image and if he is handsome, so are you". It wasn't easy at first I would break down in to tears and it would take me a very long time to convince myself that I was telling myself the truth.
What the industry has done to so many of us has made us feel like, if we are not thin, skinny and nearly anorexic looking, then we are doing something wrong. I just want to get back to a size 12 or even a 10! Can you believe when I was a size 12 standing at 5'8" an ex boyfriend, whom I was dating at the time, told me that I was chubby and needed to lose weight? He was a doctor and of course they know what they are talking about after all, right? I wish I could see him today and give him a HARD SMACK in the face and a piece of my mind, but that is the humanity of me. At this point all I can do is forgive him for acting like a jerk and saying those hurtful words, move on and grown from it.
Today I am 5'8"......and wear 18w...sighs.
My generation wasn't taught how to eat properly to live, but live to eat and enjoy everything! One of EACH! We were taught, if you don't get it or eat it now, it won't be there when you want it. We were not taught delayed gratification and we grew up with the microwaves and fast food industry on the rise. So fast food is what was for dinner as well as frozen and boxed foods full of preservatives and all sorts of junk!
Currently I weigh 242 pounds and my goal is to get to 140 by my next birthday...I will be 37 so here the count down begins. I am counting on you to hold me accountable!!
I am not allowed to lie if I did or didn't workout, includes physical therapy and EVERYTHING I ate and drank, it all adds up. We do have some freezer meals left over, so if it is something like that, I will take a picture of it and the ingredients so you can see what is in it. May this be a healthy journey for us all and that we get to learn some amazing health and fitness tips along the way to help make this journey easy for us all!
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